Posted by: Jennifer | August 30, 2011

kids gone wild

Two now-grown children from a suburb of Chicago have tried to sue their mother due to her “bad parenting” which caused severe emotional distress. And what, do you ask, would be an example of this horrible mother’s actions?

The alleged offenses include failing to take her daughter to a car show, telling her then-7-year-old son to buckle his seat belt or she would contact police, “haggling” over the amount to spend on party dresses and calling her daughter at midnight to ask that she return home from celebrating homecoming.

[…]Among the exhibits filed in the case is a birthday card Garrity sent her son, who in his lawsuit sought damages because the card was “inappropriate” and failed to include cash or a check. He also alleged she failed to send a card for years or, while he was in college, care packages.

You know, my parents call me by my sister’s name ALL THE TIME, and vice versa. I wonder if we have a case on our hands. This has caused severe emotional distress, as well as several identity crises. I guess we have no choice. I’ll have to sue my parents for being human. It’s their own fault. They should have been better parents.

Oh, and you don’t even have to ask — this case was dismissed by the judge. The judge didn’t want to risk opening this particular can of worms. Can you imagine what would happen if you were allowed to sue your mother because she gave you a birthday card that you didn’t like? What’s next? I was chained to the table and made to do my homework when I wanted to play video games? I was forced against my will to do manual labour in the kitchen after dinner, despite the fact that my favourite TV show was on? I was denied access to the car keys because I didn’t have my driver’s license, and my ungrateful and bad mother refused to change her schedule to accommodate the fact that I wanted to go to the mall with my friends? And the bitch didn’t even offer to give me money for shopping to boot?!

What is disturbing is the hidden reasoning for the case. One of the kids’ lawyers, you see, is their dad/the woman’s ex-husband. It kind of makes you wonder how much of this was an asshole trying to get back at his ex-wife for her supposed offenses. Also makes you wonder if there’s the possibility of a countersuit. I would think that if your husband takes you to court to try to show you’re a bad parent due to making your kid wear their seatbelt — there HAS to be some sort of libel case in there.

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