Posted by: Jennifer | June 19, 2007

screwed by the establishment

Talking with the Student Loans crew is always fun and exciting

Me: I’m calling about my interest relief application. I was wondering if you could tell me why I was denied **
Student Loans chickie: Well, according to your file, your income is higher than the eligible amount based on our interest relief table
Me: That sucks. Can you tell me how much I’m over?
SLc: By about fifty dollars.
Me: Alrighty then. What happens now.
SLc: Well, you now have a payment due on June 1st. June 3rd, actually, because of the holiday.
Me: Okay, and that’s $240?
SLc: Actually, this month we will be taking $720 out of your account this month.
Me: I beg your pardon?
SLc: Yes, there is your payment for this month and you are behind one month because your account was put on hold while you applied for interest relief.
Me: That’s $480…and?
SLc: And it looks like we forgot to take our your payment out at the end of November, so we need to get that payment to bring your account up-to-date.
Me: And what happens if my account is not brought up-to-date?
SLc: Well, at that point your account would be in arrears and we may be forced to take action.
Me: And no one noticed little oversight in the last…what, six months?
SLc: Your account was on hold due to the interest relief, but now that it has been brought to our attention we will be rectifying that.
Me: So in other words, I have about…two weeks to come up with seven hundred bucks or you guys are going to send me to collections.
SLc: Yes, that is correct.
Me: Wow, you guys really know how to fuck a girl with her pants on, don’t you?
SLc: We get a lot of practice at it. Did you need any more assistance?
Me: I think I’ve had my fill of assistance today, but thanks bunches.

So…does anyone want to help me rob a bank? Anyone? Bueller?

** Note: I knew perfectly well why I was denied. I applied in the hopes that they wouldn’t notice that I didn’t qualify. Can’t blame me for trying 🙂



  1. I too have been fucked by student loans…and without so much as a kiss first. I have nothing to offer except empathy and a big hug. Fuckers really know how to screw you over. Good luck.

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